What IF?
by kissinghollie
Summary: What if someone besides Carina sat down next to Arizona that night? ***Please read the A/N!***


**A/N: Just something that popped into my head. I was like what if someone else sat down next to Arizona instead of Carina that night. I'm not sure when I'll continue this or if I'll make it an actual story or just a smutty two-shot. Give me your thoughts.**

Chapter One

Arizona glanced over as she felt someone slide onto the stool beside her at the bar. She eyed the woman skeptically for a moment before turning back to finish off her drink as she noticed she was signaling Joe over.

"A new whatever she is having and a fresh one for me too. Plus four shots of your best tequila, please Joe," Meredith said as she kept her eyes on her colleague. "Bad Day? Patient or personal?"

"Well, I'd have to say personal. Since, I was apparently ghosted and I didn't even know that was a thing," Arizona answered as she set her empty drink glass back on the bar. Her second of the night. "I mean, who the hell does that to someone? And I think it's crazy that it happens enough to have its own descriptor!"

"Yeah, that sucks," Meredith answered as she pushed two of the newly arrived shots towards Arizona before she could reach for her new drink. "Here, let's do these and then we can compare our shitty love lives while we drown our sorrows. Bottom's up!"

Arizona didn't even hesitate as she downed the first shot before glancing to see that Meredith was already reaching for her second. As soon as she finished her second shot, she turned to Meredith again and asked, "What brings you here to drown in tequila as you say?"

Meredith grabbed her drink and pushed Arizona her's before saying, "I'm not sure what I am more at the moment actually. Pissed that Nathan is throwing away an opportunity that I would do anything to have or jealous that he has the opportunity at all. I mean, I like the guy and the sex was great but we understood that we both had a great love that we lost. I think that is what allowed me to feel so relaxed with him to even try again. You know?"

"I understand the hesitancy to try and love again after losing something you feel was your one great chance at the happily ever after kind of love," Arizona said as trained her attention solely to the blonde next to her. "I liked Eliza. Alot. The sex was awesome too but there was always something that was in our way of really moving forward. First, it was the whole thing with Webber. Then, when I finally give in and let myself go with her, I still held back because I knew she was only here temporarily. I just thought that we had more time to see if this was something that could develop into more."

"She just left without saying anything at all then," Meredith asked and was a little relieved to have someone to listen to who maybe could understand her craziness a little. Her and Arizona had never been close but they were there for each other a few times over the years since the crash when it really mattered. The day of the small plane crash they sat in a supply room together to hide from the others who couldn't understand what they went through out in those woods and after her attack Arizona helped her and the kids a lot. Hell, she even came by to help after Meredith moved back into the house after she returned with Ellis.

"Yeah, nothing. I went to her apartment to find it being emptied by movers. No note, no call, no text message, nothing. I don't understand it because before this we talked about her moving once her contract was up here, 6 months from now, if we didn't offer her anything to stay. So, I thought we were both on the same page. Talking about options to move forward together. She mentioned a few hospitals on the east coast that were interested in her program that she was thinking of giving a try once her time was up here. I was a little relieved that it was also hospitals that have tried to persuade me to accept offers with them too. If things between us was had gotten to that point, then it would give me another reason to make the move closer to Sofia."

"We'll come back to the whole you moving thing later," Meredith said as she realized that was not something she felt comfortable with. She wasn't sure if it was because her and Arizona were the only two people left in the hospital that were on the plane or what it was but she felt uneasy with the idea all of a sudden. "But you deserve better than what she did to you. Don't let her discourage you from finding someone else."

Arizona realized she may need to slow down the drinks since she let slip the whole idea of maybe relocating. Sure it crosses her mind a lot, especially, on days that she misses Sofia so much she can't stand herself for allowing Callie to take her so far away. She decided to give Callie her happiness, since Arizona couldn't be the one to do that for her anymore, and apparently Penny could. Even if Callie's happiness was across the country with her new girlfriend and their baby girl.

"What happened with Riggs? I mean, I know about Owen's sister's miraculous return from the dead but what do you mean by he's throwing away an opportunity," Arizona asked to stir the conversation back onto the other woman. She liked Meredith as a person but always felt she was more Callie's friend than her's. She felt a kinship with her since they were the only two remaining plane crash survivors left at Grey-Sloan now but they had never really been friends.

"Megan, her name is Megan, and she's great," Meredith answered as she sipped from her glass. "I've worked to give her the best chance I could and it was amazing to give her that part of herself back. She has a kid over there that she wants to adopt but red tape is holding it up so she wants to get back to him as soon as she can. I understand because I would do anything for my kids, you know, but Owen and Nathan doesn't seem to want her to go back. I get it's dangerous and so I wanted to give her the best medical chance I could, especially, because I care for Nathan and Owen is one of us. That sucks too because I do like her even though she sees me as a rival for the man she loves. She turned down his proposal because she said he was in love with me. I mean, I care for him but I'm not sure I was in love with him. It may have gotten there but I don't think I was there yet."

"That I understand because I feel the same. I wasn't there yet but I think I could've gotten there," Arizona replied as she turned to look at Meredith again. "Do you think he is in love with you like she claims?"

"I don't believe he is honestly. I think we both felt the same way really. We felt safe with one another because we both knew that a significant part of our hearts would always belong to someone else. Someone we both believed we would never see again. But he has a chance to have his one great love back and he was just going to walk away and that just pisses me off because I know I will never get the chance he is screwing up. So, I'm jealous of him and mad at him all at once."

"That's a lot to feel all at once Meredith," Arizona answered. "No wonder you're here downing tequila shots and whatever that is you're drinking."

"Long Island Iced Tea made with extra tequila," laughed Meredith. "Everyone knows tequila is my drink."

"Well, white wine is usually my first choice but this is a Vodka Tonic because I needed something stronger tonight," Arizona answered as she finished off her drink. "It seems we both needed something a little stronger tonight."

"I think we were both strong enough to survive all the horrible things in our past so we will survive this too," Meredith stated before finishing her drink and signaling Joe for two more.

"Okay, ladies hand over your keys before I hand out this round," Joe insisted as he approached the pair. The hospital crowd kept him in business and he had grown fond of quite a few of them over the years and so he always tried to look out for them. "I will call you a cab when you are ready to go, okay?"

"No problem Joe," Meredith replied as she handed over her keys before turning to Arizona who was doing the same. "Maggie is home with my kids so I am in no hurry. Plus, I have a rather late start tomorrow. How about you?"

"I have the day off tomorrow. I think Deluca is on night shift all week so my house is empty. It always feels empty since Sofia left," Arizona answered sadly.

"I don't want to seem insensitive or whatever," Meredith began noting her tipsy state already, "but what were you thinking when you showed up and gave Callie those plane tickets? I mean you won custody and yet you just handed over Sofia to her to take across the country."

"Sofia would ask me why her Mami was sad all the time," Arizona sighed as she grabbed the new drink Joe had just slide in front of her. "I had done so much to make Callie sad by that point that all I wanted was for her to be happy again. I realized that was what I wanted more than anything for her. I kept seeing our therapist and she helped me work through a lot of stuff and that was the big thing that I struggled with. I wanted her happy even though that happy didn't come from me anymore. So, I gave her the chance to go and live her happiness. I will still see Sofia. She is my daughter no matter what anyone thinks. I love her and it was hurting her too to see her Mami crying and sad all the time and I just couldn't do that to either of them. Of course, I miss her like crazy and can't wait on her next visit out here but I talk to her almost daily and make sure she knows that I will always be here for her."

"Well, I guess I can somewhat understand that," Meredith replied. "I really don't understand why they couldn't just do the long distance thing while Blake was there for her grant. I mean, Callie just acted so….well, like her old self before you and Sofia. I mean she was always impulsive. Hell, she ran off and married George in Las Vegas when he was still an intern. She makes quick decisions with her heart on her sleeve instead of with her head sometimes like she should. I just hope she is actually happy and didn't cause all this drama with the custody battle and taking Sofia away from her village for nothing since they should be back soon. I mean they've been gone a while now and I've not heard from her. Just a few 'how are you texts' in the beginning but we haven't spoken in months."

"Actually, I don't think they're coming back," Arizona said sadly. "We speak about Sofia and plans for her visits and such but she did let me know that she isn't sure if they were moving back after Penny's grant is done. Apparently, they both love the city and Sofia likes her school there too. We agreed to me having holidays and breaks this year and then we'd switch and I'd have her for a school year while Callie takes the holidays and breaks that year. I don't know what'll happen when we switch off for the school year but that's not my problem anymore I guess. She's the main reason I've considered moving to the east coast. I've gotten some really great offers out there too."

"Arizona, are you really thinking about leaving? Because I know we're both in sucky situations right now with our relationships but this is our hospital, our home. I mean, we actually own part of it and sit on the board, you know. We have a village here," Meredith rambled a little sadly.

The alcohol was hitting them both now and they were a little more honest and a little less guarded with one another.

"Meredith, you have a village here not me. I have acquaintances that were my friends because of my ex-wife. I have an intern that rents a room from me because no one else wanted to be around me. The woman I was seeing left me without a single word at all. My parents live across the country. My child lives with my ex-wife and her girlfriend across the damn country. What do I have here? Karev can run the Pediatrics department and fetal cases can be sent to another specialists until Bailey can replace me. My spot on the board can be dealt with over email and video conferences like Callie's is and my shares will still be my shares. I have nothing tying me here except memories," Arizona replied sadly as she wiped a stray tear away. "I've lost so much here but I can't forget all that I gained here either."

"Look, I know we've never been close but I'm here for you Arizona. We survived a freaking plane crash together. They call us immortal because of everything we've survived around here so you can't leave me alone now, please. Just think about it before you do something drastic like hop on a plane to the east coast. The closest I have to a person is Alex and let's face it...his advice sucks sometimes and he's a guy and doesn't always get it, you know. We can make a pact, here and now, that we'll be there for each other from here on out. Hell, when the days are especially hard on you from missing Sofia come to my house and borrow one of my kids or all of them if you want too. I trust you with them and I could use a friend who's not my sister or Alex. I love the guy but he has his own brand of issues to deal with," Meredith pleaded.

"I do miss seeing the kids since Sofia's been gone. Her and Zola practically spent everyday together before the move between daycare and school and I haven't seen little Ellis or Bailey since you were attacked," Arizona replied honestly. "I miss the sound of kids laughing and playing in my house. Hell, I only sleep and change there nowadays. It hasn't seemed like home since Sofia left."

"Well, we can fix that too," Meredith stated with conviction as she sit her empty glass down. "I mean, I can bring the kids over to visit and you can come by my house whenever you feel like it. Maggie is there and so is Amelia. For some stupid reason, she's away from Owen at the moment, which is absolutely crazy too. Maggie has this weird crush on Jackson even though she hasn't realized it yet and Amelia is married but living at my house again. She needs to talk to her husband and figure her shit out."

"She is so different from what I remember," Arizona mentioned while she pushed her empty glass away from herself as well.

"I forgot that you were in the residency program at the same time. Did you hang around one another a lot?" Meredith questioned as she signaled Joe for another round.

"Not really. I mean we crossed paths occasionally and after my brother died we ran into each other at parties when I was drowning my sorrow in donuts and women," Arizona answered before accepting her new drink from Joe.

"Was she one of these women?" Meredith jokingly asked.

"Do you really want to know if I've had sex with your sister-in-law?" Arizona replied with a wicked smirk.

"Oh my god, you did," laughed Meredith. "I remember she had that discussion with Callie about bisexuality and admitted to having been with a woman before. Oh lord, could you have imagined Callie's response if she knew that it was you that Amelia was with. I mean that would've been freaking hilarious."

"Ugh, yeah, I bet that would've went over real well. Amelia was smart for keeping quiet about that one," snorted Arizona as she chuckled at the image in her head of that confrontation. "Just don't mention you know to Amelia okay? She's never mentioned that she remembers those nights so I'd rather not have her confront me over it."

"Nights? As in more than one? Exactly how many times did you sleep together?" questioned Meredith.

"Ugh, there was no sleeping involved trust me. And I'm not sure it was a few months worth of random hookups so….a lot," laughed Arizona. "But there was a lot of women before I met Callie. I didn't do relationships or feelings before her."

"Wait, are you saying she was your first real relationship?" asked an intrigued Meredith.

"She was the first one I wanted to mean anything. I had a couple girlfriends but no one that meant anything close to her. She intrigued me before I actually met her. I'd heard the talk around the hospital about her and Erica Hahn and all the drama before that too. I saw her crying in this very bar in the restroom. I spoke to her for the first time that night and then kissed before walking away," Arizona somberly replied. "I know I messed up after I lost my leg between being mad at the world and taking it out on her and then sleeping with Lauren that night but nobody heard about anything that happened before that night so they just made me out to be a heartless cheater."

"What do you mean what happened before that night?" Meredith asked as she reached over and placed her hand over the one Arizona had picking at a napkin on the bar trying to offer some kind of comfort to the other woman.

"We had decided to have another child and I was pregnant but I miscarried," Arizona said quietly. "I felt like I let her down again but I also felt like she was always trying to fix me, like something was wrong with me in her eyes. Then Lauren came in with all her charm and wanted me for me. She knew that I wasn't whole but she wanted me anyway. I caved into the desire of someone looking at me like that after I had felt so broken since the crash. It was the worst thing I've ever done and I'll never forgive myself."

"I understand the way you must have felt after miscarrying because I miscarried as well," Meredith said as she squeezed Arizona's hand before releasing it and picking back up her new drink. "I can't say anything about you cheating because you already regret that and paid for it. Plus, only you know where you were emotionally during that time, especially, if you learned from it. I think Derek was going to cheat on me right before he came back from DC. Actually, I think I called and interrupted him right before he did and that's why he came back. We've all done things we regret and can't undo but we can learn and go on."

"I didn't know that," Arizona said as she downed the rest of her new drink.

"It's not something we advertised you know," Meredith said after finishing her drink off. "I know Callie spread your business around the night it happened because I heard about it afterwards. I think it could've been handled better but she was understandably upset."

"She was and it sucked to have our problems aired out in the hospital all the time," Arizona replied. "It seems like everyone's business is always aired out around that place."

"Yep, and you want to leave us all behind," Meredith chuckled slightly.

"Alright, ladies," interrupted Joe, "it's almost closing time so I called you a cab that should be out front shortly."

"Here Joe," Arizona said as she handed over her credit card. "Put both tabs on here for me will you?"

"Sure thing Arizona," he said as he walked away to settle up their tabs.

"Thanks, but you didn't have to do that," Meredith said as she stood up a little unsteadily. "I'll grab our coats and wait by the door."

After Arizona settled up with Joe and made her way to Meredith who was holding out her coat for her. As they stepped out the door, they noticed the cab waiting on them and headed over together. Arizona held the door open for Meredith to slide in first.

"Where to ladies," asked the driver as he eyed the two gorgeous blondes who had just climbed in his car.

Meredith looked at Arizona and said, "Your house if that's alright."

"That's fine," Arizona replied before turning her attention back to the cab driver and rattling off her address.

They both sat quietly in the back for the entire ride to Arizona's. When the cab stopped, Meredith was quick to pay the fair before pushing Arizona out the door.

"You didn't have to pay but thank you," Arizona said as she walked up to the front door with Meredith following right behind her. Both of them a little unsteady on their feet.

After fumbling with her key, Arizona finally got the door open. They entered her foyer and hung up coats and dropped purses on the side table before Arizona lead Meredith to her living room.

"Wait here and I'll grab us couple of waters from the fridge," Arizona said after flipping on the lamp beside her couch before stepping toward her kitchen.

Meredith made herself comfortable on the couch as she glanced around the immaculately clean room. Everything was in place and looked sparkling clean. This was definitely a stark contrast to her own house. She noticed many of Sofia things just waiting on the little girl to return home. There were pictures scattered around of the two of them together as well. She was startled out of her examination by Arizona as she took the place on the opposite end of the couch as she passed Meredith a bottle of water.

"Your house is so clean compared to mine," chuckled Meredith. "That makes me want to visit you more often already."

"Thank the cleaning lady I hired to come in three times a week," laughed Arizona. "She's very good. She even does my laundry. She folds it and lays it out on my bed for me to put away so she doesn't have to go into my closet or my dressers, which is a good thing."

"Oh and what are you hiding in your closet or dressers that you don't want her to see?" Meredith asked with a smirk as she eyed the blonde.

"I'm sure it's nothing you need to ever worry about being straight and all," laughed Arizona.

"Who said I was straight? Just because I was married to a man doesn't make me straight you know," Meredith said as she raised a suggestive eyebrow at her friend. "I didn't get into to that discussion with Callie and Amelia because I don't care for labels. I believe you love who you love and you're attracted to the person and not the gender."

"Are you telling me you've dated a woman before?" Arizona asked now intrigued by Meredith's reply."

"Depends on your definition of dating? If you mean have I asked out a woman and taken her on a typical date, then no. If you mean have I picked up a random woman at a bar or party and had sex with her, then yes. I've never had a girlfriend but then again I never really had a boyfriend until long after med school. I dated guys and slept around mostly with whoever caught my attention at the time. The last time I slept with a woman was right before I started at Seattle Grace and met Derek," Meredith replied honestly. She felt comfortable talking to Arizona and meant it when she said that they should become friends.

"Wow, I'm shocked but I'm not," Arizona replied as she sat her water bottle on the coffee table and turned more toward Meredith. "I mean, I wondered when I heard that you backpacked across Europe with your friend. I always presumed you would be more on the progressive side of your sexuality."

"That was an adventure that covered all the bases on both sides of the field my friend," laughed Meredith. "We practically slept our way through the beautiful young men and women across Europe."

"I can't say that surprises me from some of the stories that I've heard about your intern years," chuckled Arizona.

"Oh god, don't remind me. We were all connected some way by who we were sleeping with," laughed Meredith. "Well, I've slept with almost all my friends at some point. Just sleep that is but I did have sex with George once."

"Really? You had sex with George? Callie's George?" questioned Arizona.

"He wasn't Callie's George then but yes," Meredith answered laughing, "and since Callie slept with George and Alex she had sex with more of my intern class than I did."

"Ugh, don't remind me about her and Alex," Arizona replied. "Did you know I threatened to hit him with a brick when I found out about that?"

Meredith laughed at that before she tried to stifle a yawn. "Ugh, I should go since it's getting late."

"You don't have to go unless you really have to or want to," Arizona said since she had enjoyed the other woman's company. "I can loan you some sleep clothes and you can crash in my room and I'll take Sofia's."

"I'm not throwing you out of your own bed, Arizona," Meredith said as she studied her companion. Sure they were both a little inebriated but neither of them were past the point of control. "I can either share with you or take Sofia's bed if that's more comfortable for you."

"Follow me," Arizona said as she stood up. She wrapped her hand around Meredith's wrist and pulled her up. She then lead her up the stairs to her room.


End file.
